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 There was a time when words were used beautifully.These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with  words was still valued before a great portion of The English language was boiled down to four-letter words!


The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: 

She said, 'If you were my husband, I'd give you 

poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd take it.' 

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli:

 'Sir, you will either die on the 

gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 

'That depends, sir,' said Disraeli, 'On whether 

I embrace your policies or your mistress.' 




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'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr 

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill 

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill 

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' - Clarence Darrow 

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) 

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas 

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln 

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain 

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde 

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill 

'Cannot possibly attend the first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response. 

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop 

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright 

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb 

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson 

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up' - Paul Keating 

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - 'Jack E. Leonard 

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford 

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed 

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' - Charles, Count Talleyrand 

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker 

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain 

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West 

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'- Oscar Wilde 

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 
'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder 

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx




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